... the last few days have been exhausting. Andy has been working 18-hour days, every day, for two weeks. Yesterday he worked 25 hours, finally getting home today at lunchtime. Yes, 25 hours. And it has been hard on me too. I don't realize how much he actually does around here until he isn't here at all.
Yesterday I arranged for Aaron to come over for some Trivial Pursuit. He's home from school for the week, and today was the only day he wasn't spending with other friends. That's another story in and of itself. Between our lack of hot water here at the house (fire was out!) and Andy needing to sleep, we just met for dinner instead. It was awful. I'm sooo tired that I had nothing to say and no interest in conversation anyway. We have nothing in common and have spent so little time together lately that it was more of a catch-up conversation than actually spending time together.
My relationship with Aaron is sort of emblematic of my life these days. Every have someone you miss intensely all the time, but can't spend enough time with? Then your relationship is all about catching up instead of making actual memories. It really hurts, and it's scary. I'm wondering, should I try? Should I appreciate the past for what it is and gently let go? What do I do? I never know.
I'm lonely and sad, and missing people I don't get to see much.
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wakeful dreamer