I am suffering. Actually, I've moved past suffering and am now able to shake my head/sigh/move on. It's only going to get worse from here out, so might as well accept it.
First, I haven't had sex in a month. I can't take this. Secondly, I have too much going on. Too many commitments, too many things undone hanging over my head. Third, I have barely seen my spouse in weeks. For a while he thought it was only him that was suffering. I wish. While I'm not having to work at an outside job, effectively having no spouse present means that 100% of the child care, housekeeping, bill paying, family commitments, grocery shopping, etc are mine to enjoy. I'm not complaining, as all these things have to be done, but I am tired and ready for a break too. How do military wives and single parents do it? Fourth, I am hideously worried about the allergy thing. No matter what I do, it's not getting better. I hate being out of control.
I called my mom the other day, to tell her that we'd added peas to The List, and she immediately diverted the conversation to her dog. Specifically, that her dog has developed corn allergies. I guess she was trying to express solidarity with my struggles, but it fell flat. I don't want my son to be compared with other kids, much less a dog. I'm a dog lover too, but it was all very insulting.
I was not NOT invited to my brother-in-law's wedding on Tuesday. His actual words: "You can come if you want to." Nice. I guess I have to go, to represent Andy who lives in the normal world where people have to work, especially ones that don't get advance notice. I don't care so much about seeing them get married when they don't care whether I'm there or not, but the spectacle should be worth the drive. I hope he's not expecting a nice wedding gift.
My cousin who was my maid of honor at my wedding finally got engaged. I'm happy for her. Maybe now she can drop the dumb blonde act and start being normal again.
Today I went to see my niece and nephew's show choir musical. It was fairly ok as these things go, but I never want to hear another Boyz 2 Men song again. Also, Ethan played Elvis. The wig alone was worth the trip! Immediately before that, I gorged myself on peach cobbler and fried okra at Andy's mom's house. She's an excellent cook, as I want to be someday. If nothing else, I'm feeling fat and happy at the moment. If I could just have sex for a couple hours, I might feel normal again.
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wakeful dreamer